für die fans der schwulsten und pädophilsten soap die es je gab :-)
die übersetzung braucht´s sicher nicht - wer full house fan ist, der macht das mit links :-))
......paste.....

I'm willing to wager that almost everybody has seen an episode of Full House - that shitty feelgood family-based sitcom that was so gay that it was set in San Francisco. Brief background: Nine people living under one roof - fucked-up gaylord bullshit ensues. If you would compare them to The Brady Bunch, they might come out something like this:

Danny Tanner = Mike Brady: man of the house, bullshit optimism, gay in real life.
Jesse Katsopolis = Greg Brady: Hip, cool, fuckwit.
Joey Gladstone = Alice: Village idiot, family babysitter, everyone laughs, but secretly plots death.
Rebecca Donaldson = Carol Brady: Reasonably nice, with that mean bitch streak that all women have.
DJ Tanner = Marcia: Blonde, stupid. Supposedly popular, but you only ever see 1 friend.
Stephanie Tanner = Jan Brady: Middle child, can't live up to older sister, depressed, and with any luck, suicidal.
Michelle Tanner = Cindy Brady: ANNOYING LITTLE @!#$!!
Alex and Nicky Katsolpolis = Peter and Bobby Brady: No real comparison, but I never had any problems with either of them, because they did their own thing and couldn't really get on my nerves.
Comet = Tiger: Dog.
Kimmy Gibler = ? Nothing was like Kimmy. Kimmy was a piece of @!#$ freeloader who's family you never saw, so you assume she was homeless and lived on the Tanner's doorstep.

Not much came out of that show, because it was @!#$. It was like Step by Step, in that the cast generally did two-fifths of @!#$-all after teh show got cancelled. Almost everybody who starred in it has been considered washed-up hacks forced to do TV mini-series, cameos, etc. and walk on the red carpet only because they're married to people who aren't washed-up hacks.

So where are they now? The cast of Full House have gone their separate ways, and here's how they turned out:

Bob Saget ("Danny"): Last I'd heard of this lacklustre "comedian", he was on "America's Funniest Home Videos", and that was about five or six years ago. Features in the sequel to "Dumb and Dumber". Otherwise appears to have vanished from the face of the earth, and now stalks the Olsen twins armed with an M40A1 he stole from the last USO show he did.

John Stamos ("Jesse"): Married Rebecca Romjin. Good call. That's about the only good call he's made in a long time though. He now specialises in TV movies and drumming for the Beach Boys when they remember to call him. Still, he married Rebecca Romjin, so he's one up on most of the cast.

Dave Coulier ("Uncle Joey"): Did "World's Funniest Videos" (Bob Saget can suck it), cartoon voiceovers and was on Cheech and Chong's "Things Are Tough All Over" which is undeniably his best work ever. Big hockey guy - Was the Red Wings' Honourary Team Captain for the NHL's 75th anniversary, and plays for the Celebrity All-Stars with other washed-up TV stars like Matt Perry and Jason Priestly. He's pretty good as well. Now he travels the country doing stand-up, and lives in a circus trailer along with many other after-they-were-famous stand-up comedians. Is not Jeff Daniels.

Lori Loughlin ("Becky"): Tart, model, was in heaps of @!#$ movies before Full House, and did "Hudson Street" right after Full House got axed. Hudson Street was axed after 1 season. Was in that "Casper" movie in 1997 - it went straight to video. Realising she was a curse to movies and TV, she fucked off and did what every woman should do - raised kids and repressed her hopes and dreams.

Candace Cameron Bure ("DJ"): Married a Calgary Flames hockey player named Valeri. Was matron of honor at former Full House co-star Jodie Sweetin's wedding. Got a cameo in a movie that the Olsen Twins did as an audience member in a game show. Definitely not washed up. Rides on the coattails of her hockey player husband, and does shitty TV movies. Notice a trend so far?

Jodie Sweetin ("Stephanie"): Undeniably her best work was as a toddler in a high chair in a Sizzler commercial. Sometimes credited as "Jodes", though for what, I'm not sure. Did "guest appearances" on "Party of Five" and "Brotherly Love". Very, very washed up, but at least she got married before she put on weight.

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (Michelle): This pair may as well have been conjoined. They've done almost nothing apart except for @!#$, and I'm skeptical about that as well. They're definitely the ones that profited the most from being on Full House - they've made their own video series, TV sitcoms and movies; they were in "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" as "Future Angels", and they're executive producers for all their @!#$. They have a fashion line, a toothpaste line, and an accesory line. Watch out for the second-richest kids in America to bring out the lesbian porn videos - they turn 18 next year in June.

Andrea Barber ("Kimmy"): Living like a normal person now. Did nothing after Full House, except for get totally hot! Seriously, she's hot. Check this out: [www.angelfire.com] - hot chick. Still, washed up and cinematically defunct, studying English or something useless at college because she couldn't get work after Full House. Damn hot!

Dylan and Blake Tuomy-Wilhoit and Kevin and Dylan Renteria ("Alex" and "Nicky"): None of these kids amounted to anything. Ever. Their parents still meet up and beat the kids for not being able to make them rich. Their parents are looking at a series of Broadway vaudeville shows. Watch out for them all to become strippers like Natalie Wood in Gypsy

There you go. With the exception of those shitty Olsen Twins, Full House got everybody on it to exactly the bum-@!#$ of nowhere. In fact, I think it's safe to say that Full House ended more careers than it started. The curse that was Full House destroyed lives, and set up those Olsen bitches. I'm tempted to kill one, and watch the other one's career wither and die, but I'm an @!#$ like that.